As a lifelong humourist myself, I find all forms of humour, from sarcasm to snark to dry to dark to slapstick to quirky to the what are you talking about? kind of humour to be crucial to my day-to-day life. I often say that coffee runs through my veins & that the smell of old musty books is my oxygen, but really, laughter is the focus of my entire life.
So when I encounter something that is just too funny and too real, I embrace it wholeheartedly. And so, I present to you: @LousyLibrarian
While @LousyLibrarian, who is slowly taking over the world of library humour on Twitter, has chosen to remain anonymous, his/her quips are notably true (and sad) for librarians at least the nation wide. Here are some of his/her highlights:
“The only things librarians love as much as cats are space heaters.”
“‘My library card isn’t working.’ ‘I’m not an expert but I think that might be because it’s a hotel room key card.'”
“‘I requested a book this morning. Is it there yet?’ ‘Depends. Did you click the “Defy All Laws of Time and Space” box?'”
“Am promoting the new Grisham to hipsters as an artisanal melange of hand-crafted lawyer book cliches.”
“Patron: ‘Someone here was unpleasant to me five years ago.’ Me: ‘Wow, that’s impressive; you’re like a grudge archivist.'”
“Once I weeded a Patterson in Reno just to watch it die.”
“‘We’ve got a problem with a patron.’ ‘Which patron?’ ‘The weird guy with the weird pants.’ ‘You’re gonna have to be more specific.'”
“We have an informally designated napping area in the library. It’s called the library.”
“I enjoy our weekly chats about whether Lisa Gardner has a new book out yet. The same way Sisyphus enjoyed his little hikes.”
“For my Halloween costume I should have dressed as a stolen Blu-ray; then I could just not be here despite what all the records say.”
“‘Do you have any recommendations for someone who just doesn’t like books?’ ‘How about this nice stapler?'”
I don’t know who or where you are out there, @LousyLibrarian, but YOU ARE CRUSHING IT.
everyone sucks except you 